Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
