I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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