He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's like heaven, but drunker
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i think im in europe. pls send help
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
