In the future we'll all be gay
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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