we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
