They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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