It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
