the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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