Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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