the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
