is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
