Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
