these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
