I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
