She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
