Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
