so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
