booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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