i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
