The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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