My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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