woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
