I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I would fuck him just for his dog
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize