We're facebook friends in real life
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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