I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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