We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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