i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
