i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
being pregnant is like rehab
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
