did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
