after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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