I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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