i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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