This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
