I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
