he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
