I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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