guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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