You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
