VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
