dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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