i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
