i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
