D3 body, D1 cock
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
