Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
