I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
