It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i've created a new STD.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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