I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
