i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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