We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
