i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
