it hurts more in the daytime
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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