Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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